job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
me: aw yeah give it to me raw baby
guy: are u sure?
me: fuck yeah give it to me RAW
guy: i don’t want you to wake up with salmonella poisoning
me: okay give me the steak medium-well then
guy: alright have a nice night sir, enjoy your dinner